Michelle

By Harry Hotmann

Also published on VISIONS newsletter

I drove up the hilly road in sharp loops. The front shield wipers failed to match the heavy rain drops. Beyond the fuzzy glass, deformed grey rocks and vivid green trees wobbled on both sides of the slippery wet asphalt. The gloomy sky and the misty fog chunks compelled me to turn on fog lights of my Jeep. The silvery beams spotted out the thin slices of white clouds sneaking among the rocky slopes. The wind coiled the hail around the vapor generating a dense smoky haze. Usually, I enjoyed hammering in those weather conditions but alone or with my buddies. This time, I felt anxious, not about myself, only for my family who were sitting in the back seat. My girlfriend Clara was resting beside me in the front chair. Mom, Marline, my younger brother Johns and the most beloved the youngest sister, Michelle, sat in complete silence and upset. Since my father death, in a crush of his sailing plane, fears of calamities overshadowed our life. My father had bought this small hill with the villa on its top in Santa Fe Baldy for vacations and weekends. It was the first time we come since he passed away. We all approved to spend a week of our summer holiday there.

“Nobody expected this outburst in this area.” I said to calm their concerns.

“Could it be a tornado. I prefer to return home.” My mother suggested looking through side window.

“Don’t worry, Mom. It’s a mere tropical storm. All of those showers will rest within a few hours.” I declared suspecting my own words.

“No. I won’t go back before I swim in the stream as my Dad promised.” Michelle insisted yielding childishly. She was three years old then and she lived two years only with her father. Every time he brought us to Santa Fe Baldy, he reassured to climb down to the stream at the bottom of the hill to swim in together. One of our main purposes of that trip was to achieve her wish. The brook was narrow and deep gliding in direct passage to pour in the Reo Grande. It was inadequate for swimming except in small calm lakes it forms at the joints between the hills.

“Weather.com says the SPC and the NWS centers consider it a storm and may change into a tropical. They ask citizens to be cautious and no obligations to evacuate. It ends by tomorrow morning.” Clara announced half sleeping raising her iPhone against her eyes.

“That’s restful. Let’s enjoy the holyday. The villa can face blizzards and typhoons.” I added turning up around another acute curve.

Seriousness continued to dominate the mood inside the truck. I considered that as natural effect of the dangers we faced then because of the weather state. Also it could be the memory of my father as we were getting closer to the top of the hill.

The tempest was blasting the protecting rows of trees as I drove the car into the underground parking. As we were ascending the inside ladder to the upper part, Michelle insisted stubbornly snooping the stream. A resident guard, who takes care during our absence, told us it was safer to view the sight from a terrace pointing to a side door to the left.

The long porch was separated by a narrow iron gate from down stairs led to the valley. The firm door was always locked and I don’t remember I saw it opened. The white rocky steps were there before we bought the place and they headed straight to the river bank. Michelle gazed through the tight solid bars with a wide smile on her face. “Tomorrow, when the sun shines, we’ll walk down along these stairs an swim.” I told her. Michelle jumped up down with her teddy bear in her hand as the wind forced her to close the wide blue eyes flipping her golden hair back and forth. When we strolled back through the same track, she asked if we will I meet Dad swimming in the lake. The words stifled in my throat and I couldn’t answer.

The family was surrounding the chimney viewing across the wide double window. It was calm and cozy inside contrary to noisy violent situation outdoors. I sat on the front sofa taking Michelle on my knee swinging it gently. “Do you see that long stream?” I asked and continued without waiting the answer, “It starts at twenty kilometres to the north and flows at Messispi ten kilometres to the south. Tomorrow we’ll descend there and walk along it to that pool and swim all the day.”

“But there are those rocks and walls ahead of the pool. Shall we jump over?” She asked.

“No. There are ladders on both sides. We will use them to pass to the other side. I’ll hold you on my shoulders. Don’t worry.” I promised.

“No. No. I can climb alone.” She assured and I smiled.

“OOOk.” Her sound resonated with a kiss on my face. We spent most of the night admiring her stumbles in talking and the dimples over her red cheeks. It was nearly midnight when we decided to go to our bedrooms. Michelle and Johns, who was two years older, shared the same bed with teddy in the next room. I had slept till two o’clock when the thunder stroke loudly and the wind erupted the heavy substances around the house. I tried to sleep again, but my concerns about the kids compelled me examine them in their room. Johns was alone in the bed. I investigated the whole room for Michelle, but she wasn’t there. I waked up Johns asking, “Where is your sister and the bear. Haven’t you seen them.”

“I don’t know. I was sleeping. May be she has gone to my mother as usual.” He answered.

“Did she tell you anything?”

“No. But I heard her murmuring in her dreams that Dad is waiting her for swimming.” He informed.

“I think she has gone to the stream. Let’s tell the others. Follow me.” I concluded.

I examined all the rooms calling everyone to meet me in the hall. We all sat at the broad window pane looking out, but it was ultimate dark. “I think she has gone down to the river. I must hold her before she reaches it.” I told them putting my jacket and boots on.

“Let’s seek her around first. I can’t bear loosing you too.” Mom begged weeping.

“Mom, every moment is the most precious. It could be a slight difference between life and death. I am a good swimmer. You look for her in the house and around it. When you find her turn on the flasher I’ll come back then. I am leaving now.” I notified and went out fast as Clara handed me a small searchlight.

The rage air stream pushed me back as I stepped into the terrace. I struggled to reach the downward stairs. The iron gate was still locked. I decided to return since she could never climb or leap over the high metal rods. But a small slipper glittered under lightning on the third step drove me to reconsider my decision. I peered well to detect if it was Michelle’s. My sense was true. I jumped over at once holding the footwear in my hand. Ten steps away I found the other one. “It’s clear. She is in the valley now.” I thought hurrying down. The floods drifted downward from all sides dragging pebbles, soil, tree twigs and other stuffs. My clothes soaked to the skin from the first moments. The thunder shocked the land around and the steps vibrated under my boots. The lightning split through the sky to the earth leaving two or three trees on fire. Sensing the serious danger was challenging Michelle, I leapt over every three steps together when I stumbled. Rolling down uncontrolled, I coiled around myself receiving the bumps on my shoulders and legs. Bouncing over the last step into thick cold mud I relaxed a minute restoring my energy. I flashed on the searchlight exploring nearby. Drained traces of small feet trailed the treacherous unstable river bank. First, I edged on my knees and a hand tracking the feet marks. But later, for quick performance, I jogged defeating the pain.

Long minutes passed before I arrived the dam barriers. The water had immersed half of the ladders. A violent whirlpool prevented me from reaching the steel steps driving me in rolls to the river flow. Using all my abilities, I couldn’t change my track against the water current, but I managed to reach the grassy bank. Grasping two bunches of lawn, I held my body for a few moment before the waves shoved away again with the grass trembling high in my arms. A tough swimming returned me to the side again. This time I surrendered to the flood seizing the tall plants in volatile rhythms. I glided slower and smoother since the current was dimmer at the edges. Regaining some control over my body and mind I thought, “Her trails leads to the dam. If she reached this spot, the logical result is what is happening to me. Hence, she is in the pool. The current dragged her there.” My heart throbbed fast and lump contracted along my pharynx. An inner horror tempted me to surrender for the water to take me to the lake faster, but I disposed of the idea to keep tracking Michelle since staying alive is the only possible hope to save her.

Ten minutes separated me from the pond. The seemed with my impatience as hundreds. Spontaneously, I rowed with my legs in a fake feeling of urging water to move faster. Whence I reached the rim of the lake, I released the river bank. The current shoveled me down into the bottom. My head bounced against the rocky base. Without any delay, the warm blood drifted over my skull and neck. I plunged up reaching the surface in no time. I snorted taking a deep breath and dived again picking out the waterproof flashlight from the inner pocket of my jacket. The vast basin of the lake absorbed the huge energy of the overflow and most was standstill. Turbidness made vision shadowy. The powerful light could diffuse only for a few meters, which cost more time. I investigated every inch, submerging up and down numerous times. Even I re-investigate the same are more than once but I found no traces of Michelle or her bear.

Diving down and up for more than two hours drained all of my energy. I suspected that if I dived I won’t be able to swim up any more. “I need instant rest.” I decided reeling to the rocky shore. Extending my body on a massive flat rock, I looked into the starry sky. The rain had stopped completely and the wind changed into moderate breeze. “Where has she gone. Would she still up in the house and what I am imagining is a mere illusions of fears and worries.” I supposed soothing my growing worries. “But there is no flash lights in front of the villa. They haven’t found here yet. I must continue exploring the pool.” As I raised my head, glossy gleams sparkled behind the hills on the east shore. Thin glowing scattered clouds plodded over the far peaks as their amplified shadows floating over the thin waves of the lake. I stood straight checking around for any human activity or strange outlines. The first rays of the sun dazzled my sight showing bright shadows on the other side. I continued gazing capping my eyes with both hands till I observed a white lump among the grey pebbles on the opposite beach. “Is it Michelle!? But she wore a dark pink nightgown. Perhaps it is her teddy bear. It’s white.” I wondered bouncing down swimming towards the other side as quick as I can. The water became colder and my wounds ached more. My joint clinched producing clacking sounds with every move but I persisted on reaching that white piece.

The sun revealed more of its radiance dropping wide bundles of rays on the surface of water. The broad waves swayed mirroring the golden beams. Nature at that moment exposed its ultimate beauty but fears terminated all other senses inside my brain. Getting closer, my doubts became closer to the truth. There, I glanced her barefooted. The soaking locks of the bright long hair stretched along her face in split stripes. Holding the doll with her both hands, her face beamed reflecting the whiteness of the puppet soft fur. The vivid skin and the wide smile on her face built unconvincing hope in my brain but I guided myself to believe it. I sprinted over the pebbles shouting in disturbed voice, “Michelle, Michelle. Am here, am here.” I drew back the locks exposing the closed eyes. I knelt putting my ear beside her mouth which she compressed against Teddy. Both were breathless. Almost I was able to hold myself. I felt her wrist for pulse, but it was cold and solid. The result became very clear in my mind. The whole world collapsed and I lost all my senses. I could see nothing, or hear or feel except her chill sticky skin. I crashed over her taking the small body between my arms tightly. My tears soaked across my blond bear to her golden hair.

Half unconscious, I embraced her close to my chest and wept moaning unaware of the time which became worthless. Restoring my sense of reality, as the hot sun stabbed my eyelids, I remembered the reason led to this tragedy. I tried to stand up, but pain crippled me. I inched slowly creeping to the water. Within the calm pool, I swam holding her cold body between my arms till rescue men pulled us out of the pool.

Since that night, with my wife Clara and our new-born child, Michelle, and the rest of the family, I spent every weekend at the side of that lake feeding the river with my tears.